Preview(S): When "Not My Problem"... IS your problem

    One of my favorite saying that I have come across lately is: "Not my circus, not my monkeys".  It is a phrase you used to dismiss something unnecessarily dramatic that really does not have anything to do with you...something that you don't care to have to care about.

Let me use that in a sentence for you: Any sentence that begins with, "Did you hear about Kanye and/or Kim Kardashian...?" I can answer with the phrase, "Not my circus, not my monkeys".  You see I don't really care what "problems" they have, since it's really none of my business. I know there is a whole industry out there of scandal-mags, paparazzi, and shocking "news" stories that are supposed to be titillating and important but I can no more work up a good give-a-darn about what celebrity is getting divorced than I could about someone's third cousin, twice removed's, next door neighbor's divorce.  Scratch that...I might actually care about the next door neighbor's divorce because there is an infinitesimally small chance that I might actually know them.  Here is the problem that modern society seems to have presented us with:  

    There are armies of folks out there who seem to really care about what happens in the lives of the Real Housewives of (insert hip urban area here) but somehow really don't seem to care about what

happens to the housewife that lives...next door. It's pretty easy to overuse the Circus/Monkey metaphor since, after all isn't everyone's personal business their business and theirs alone.  Society follows the antics of celebrity lives not because we care, but because they are entertaining, the way watching a large building burn down is entertaining...or a train wreck.  The Germans (of course) have a word for that: 

 Schadenfreude: is pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. This word is taken from German and literally means "harm-joy". It is the feeling of joy or pleasure when one sees another fail or suffer misfortune. 

    With the exception of the giggles we all get out of watching the rich and famous thrash about trying to actually live life we really

don't, as a society, care.  And I am not saying that we all need to suddenly take an interest in whether or not Brad and Angelina can fix their broken marriage (although kudos to them for trying to work things out...keep up the hard work kids) but I am saying that maybe everything we want to be "not my business" is not necessarily not your business.  In fact, maybe our desire to ignore certain people's privacy, while completely ignoring other people, in the name of privacy, is motivated by same thing:

     Yep, plain ol' selfishness.  Let's face it, we can comfortably watch, and laugh at, the antics of celebrities on TV while never actually having to meet or care about them.  Our neighbors on the other hand... well, we really can meet them (and I hope you do), and we ought to care about them.  Sometimes caring about someone means caring enough to point out when they are doing something wrong. Something that hurts themselves or other is something we ought to care enough about that we don't just sit and gawk...we intervene. Failing to do so is simply a matter of not wanting to suffer from the discomfort it causes to do so.  It's selfishness.     

    The Prophet Ezekiel goes so far as to warn that if we fail to perform this loving task of correcting a sinning neighbor we will share in the responsibility and and blame for the evil.  God says to the prophet, 

Ezekiel 33:7-9

So you, mortal, I have made a sentinel for the house of Israel; whenever you hear a word from my mouth, you shall give them warning from me. If I say to the wicked, "O wicked ones, you shall surely die," and you do not speak to warn the wicked to turn from their ways, the wicked shall die in their iniquity, but their blood I will require at your hand. But if you warn the wicked to turn from their ways, and they do not turn from their ways, the wicked shall die in their iniquity, but you will have saved your life.

    If that sounds like a heavy burden then you heard correctly. Being the "sentinel" of God's people, and being tasked with speaking "to warn the wicked to turn from their ways" is a huge job. But don't miss the key words in that command.  

     Some of us may take those words and think, "OH BOY!  Do I have some folks to give a piece of my mind to!"  But remember, this isn't about you, or me, or any other person for that matter.  God says, "Whenever you hear a word from my mouth."  You see it isn't about you and me, it is about what God wants.  And we need to be sure what we say to our neighbors about their sin is "a word from" God.  All the while, we need to also be aware that the same command from God that we are answering, they may answer back and call us on our evil.  As such we must proceed cautiously, lovingly, and humbly. Remember this is about saving the wicked from their death, not about beating them about the head and neck with the law.  
    When Jesus explains this concept to his disciples he builds in some checks and balances to try to make sure that we proceed lovingly, faithfully, and carefully.  He says:

Matthew 18:15-17"If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

    Jesus sets the act of correcting one another in the context of relationship.  You don't just wander up to a stranger with whom you have no relationship and tell them quit being sinners.  You have to engage them as brothers and sisters and this means you need to actually foster a relationship first.  Try to make things right. Then engage a few other people you are in relationship with as part of the discussion.  Failing that, bring the whole of the community into the discussion.  If that does not work then the person in question is willingly turning their back on you, their friends, and their community.  So, let them have their freedom to do that.  Let them leave the community and be "as a Gentile and a tax collector".  This may seem harsh, but how much less loving is it to leave someone in the throes of the effects of sin?  

    Think how this would change our national dialog if we engaged this principal in politics, in race relations, in business, in cultural conflict... in church conflict for that matter.  Imagine if we lovingly engaged those who have wronged us instead of attacking and fighting them. 

    For instance, with Jesus' rule in place most of us won't be walking up to Joel Osteen to confront him about his church's response to the hurricane any time soon (unless you actually know him).  We don't have a relationship, we have no communal grounds on which to discuss, and we don't even have a clear picture of what it is all really about. Even if we have strong feelings about brother Osteen, and y'all know I do, we are not in a place to correct him, for a lot of really good reasons...even if the internet thinks we can.  Oh, and trashing the man's (already tarnished) reputation and character online, when you can be sure he will never respond, isn't a loving response, it's just sniping.  Yes, I generally hold his theology up as heretical and anathema but that's where I draw the line.  I don't know his character, I don't know him.  I may dispute and correct his prosperity "gospel" but I stop short of correcting "Him" for his sins, since I have never met the man and I am sure he does not follow my blog, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, podcast, newsletter, or Snapchat feed.    

    But we sure need to engage our local brothers and sisters in the act of mutual accountability.  You see, they are part of your circus, and they are your monkeys, like you are theirs.  The good news is we are engaging them with the life-giving words of God, not our own....words that include grace and forgiveness...words of peace and love.  If our words are just condemnation and judgement...then they are probably not of God.  

    I know that sounds hard...but who said faith was easy?